As my family continues to move up in life, and our reality becomes more distant from the black collective’s, we are realizing (if not already experiencing) that we are paying a great price. A price that most black folks don’t want to pay for the sake of staying with “their kind”. Here are some prices I’m seeing that your elevated black family will pay; and if you’ve been here long enough with me, you’ve personally witnessed at least one of these prices to be true.
1.) The black collective will ostracize you. “You’re acting white.” “You’re still a ni**a in their (white man’s) eyes”. Or they will call you other derogatory names to try to demean you, put you back in “your place”. If you’re not poor, a victim and scared of the big white man like them, you’re out! Fine with me.
2.) The black collective will want your elevated black family to become martyrs for the collective black group. They see you are doing better than them. They see that your family has accumulated wealth, resources and comfort for your own black legacy, and they want a piece of YOUR family’s pie; or worse they want you on the frontlines.
3.) You will have to arrange your children’s marriage subtly. This is a reality my husband and I faced long ago. We already have criteria down to income of who they will choose their spouses from. Our daughters and son will NOT be able to “explore” their options like others. There’s family wealth on the line.
4.) You will practice your pride in your black history and culture differently. We don’t look at our blackness as something to apologize for or to use as a reason to live a mediocre life. We are a proud people. We don’t cry, stomp and shout for recognition. We move stealthily and let our deeds speak for themselves. Black wealthy families tend to circulate their dollars more with black owned businesses at a larger scale because the resources are there to do so.
5.) Your political views will shift. Who doesn’t want lower taxes? Limited government, and incentives for accumulating assets? For my husband, capital gains tax and it being low is important to him. And even if it isn’t, there are LEGAL ways to pay lower taxes. We back politicians that will back people who produce income outside of the W2 realm. The tax laws were made for producers, not consumers. Once you understand that, you move different. We would NEVER support a politician who is talking about “tax the rich.” And if they did win an election, we move assets OUT of the states where we will be treated better financially. Simple.
6.) Legacy is ALWAYS on your mind. What are you doing today to secure your family in the future? What are your morals and values? What is your family’s mission statement? All of these things become extremely important to your elevated black family. Are you willing to pay that price?