That Mothering Question that Evokes Guilt

So, due to Radical Feminism, young girls are raised to believe that women are supposed to have it all but their personal freedom is absolutely their first priority. This priority should always be met.

Usually this freedom is first career, work, j-o-b, independence. The reason this is important is because this is what men grow up thinking about and being trained into. Whatever men fixate on, women should as well. The object of desire is to compete with men, to rival them in life goals. Without said competition, a woman’s life is meaningless, because there is nothing else; except sexual identity and freedom. Work and sex and the top 2 priorities for any self respecting Rad Fem.

Women fall into various positions on the Radical Feminist spectrum, and their answers to this question may vary.

Which is most important to you: raising emotionally, spiritually, physically, intellectually healthy children to grow into contributing adults OR your career, your social life, your reputation, your professional acclaim et al?

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Most women will pretend and lie. They will say, of course my children! However, when it comes to the time, attention and nurturing required to produce the type of happy and upstanding citizens I mentioned, do you think that most women are willing to put that as a priority to the detriment of their job?

You see, the bottom line is, it is not what we say with our mouth but what we do with our actions that really counts.

I know, you may be saying, but I am a single mom, how can I prioritize my kids when I am the only breadwinner?

Great question and that is a different post. However, is it possible that growth can come from the fact that we just take a minute to acknowledge our reality?

You see, the world has given everyone excuses, an out. It’s so hard to be the only parent involved. It’s so hard to have it all on your shoulders. I know, I’ve been there.

However, if we backtrack to the year prior to your first child’s birth, could there be some erroneous actions taken on your part that got you there? Would you be able to admit that the current rad fem ideology that women can slut walk, women can have 20,000 sex partners, compete with men in that arena and should they get pregnant, whelp! At the end of the day, they can raise the child. Plenty of women do it. Was there any of that going on in your scenario?

Or maybe, he tricked you! He said all the right things because you are a marriage oriented, wholesome girl who would never have slept with him had he told you the truth! You were never taught that men lie! OR you were taught that all men are dogs, but you were in love and so you thought he was different. He said he would be there forever and you needed to hear that. It happens.

One thing I learned on the route to self awareness and personal responsibility is that I had to take responsibility (acknowledge) what I didn’t know, what I was never taught. In so doing, I still remain in the driver’s seat of my intentions and actions and I then move out of victim position and into a proactive position that requires that I come to seek and understand what I don’t know. Since there is no point is blame game, of who didn’t teach me what, I simply set about the work of gaining knowledge.

Once I become accustomed to admitting where I went wrong, I can review that question… which comes first in my life? I just might be able to admit that honestly… it’s not my children but everything else. I might acknowledge that I have pretending that I can give 100% to motherhood and 100% to all other goals, at every phase of my children’s life. It’s a lie, by the way. Something always has to give. Some part of that scenario is always giving and receiving less than 100%.

Does this feel harsh? Like too much pressure on the mom?

It’s certainly not my intention, BUT this is why wise women of old ensured that the conditions of their life supported their motherhood rather than working against it.

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