Over the course of our lives there are many things we have choice over. We can choose our friends, career path, where we want to live. Live a life of self-determination. In life there are some things for which we have very little control over, our skin color, facial features, height, stature. Our parents through their biological creation give us their genes. And these genes express themselves in a very random nature. It is what it is. Besides our genetic make-up, our parent(s) also give us something for which they have full control over. That is our name.
What is a name. It is a title. A descriptor. Something for which we grow into at the youngest of age. We become attached to it. It becomes attached to us. It defines who we are. It is our character. It is our soul.
In the greatest depths of human intolerance and spirit of dehumanization one will cut another person down by directly hitting to the core of something for which the person had no control over, their name. A constant attack on another person’s name is an attack on their sovereignty and ability to experience life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
You may be wondering, Eric, so what does this have to do with a wedding and marriage? In taking the hand of marriage a woman is asked to give up a part of her identity; her family name. To join her name with another. With that of a man. The creation of a new identity and person. The taking of a name. It seems like such a no brainer. An administrative footnote to a wedding and day of bliss. Yet it is so much more.
The taking of a name. It is of the highest level of honor and respect a woman gives to a man as she accepts his hand in marriage. As she envelopes herself into the new life that is set before her.
Single wanting to be married men, I ask you to take a moment and step back. Think about your family name. What does it represent? What does it say about the character of your family? What does it represent and say about your personal character? How does this name define you? How will it define your bride and her existence? How will the name define the children to come?
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Men, we can’t change our family name. But what we can have a dramatic impact on is the good and the bad that comes with the name. What it stands for. What is represents. We can have a dramatic impact on allowing all that is great and glorious in life to be symbolized by our name. Break down the family curses that are identified with it and bring life to extraordinary outstanding uplifting family traditions symbolized by the name. Men we can have our name be the beacon of hope, the light house shining its glorious beams illumination the path in the midst of the storm.
Men, this decision is yours. You can be an active participant. Life transformation does not happen overnight. But life transformation can happen. That decision is yours. It requires perseverance, dedication, and the unbreakable thirst to succeed above and beyond. What is the glorious fruit of these efforts? It is the life changing experience of a marriage. A beautiful most amazing woman who without a hint of doubt or concern chooses to relinquish her family name and chooses in the most respectful way to honor you by adopting your family name as her own.