Courtship: Why and Examples of What It Looks Like

The Reality

Courtship is very empowering for a woman because if she has the intention of marrying, she is positioned to be pursued and treated like a queen; both of which are very important to a woman’s self esteem. And, quite frankly, when a woman feels good about herself and honors her innate inner beauty, she makes better choices. 

The Pursuit

The essence of courtship is pursuit for marriage and in most cases, healthy masculinity loves a good chase.  The chase occurs during the process of vetting (a topic we will explore in depth later) and should literally continue down the wedding aisle and well into marriage. It might be a strange idea, I know, but we will also discuss this in the marriage chapters of this book.  

Although both the man and the woman continuously and rigorously vet one another, the man actively pursues the woman for her time and attention. Men are biologically wired to chase and one of the clearest signs of a man’s interest in a woman is the lengths he will go to, to get her attention. 

If you are like me and have not been told about the existence of courtship,

I’d like to share some examples of what courtship for marriage looks like:

  • Rather than constantly texting you, he will actually call you so that he can hear your voice and make his presence known and felt  in your life.
  • He will take you on meaningful dates as often as possible as a means to get to know you and attempt to monopolize your free time; time that he assumes could or would be spent with other men who are also pursuing you.
  • He will show a keen interest in getting to know the real you by asking lots of questions about your likes, dislikes, your hopes and dreams, your past, your family etc.
  • He will be keen to share good information about himself, his family, his career, his goals, hopes and dreams.
  • He will often surprise you and buy gifts to please you.
  • He will want to introduce you to family and close friends fairly soon into the courtship (if he is already sure you are the one). He will want their opinion of you.
  • He will want to help you and make your life easier. This could mean, fixing a broken possession of yours or ensuring that your car is always in good working order.

You might be thinking to yourself, men never do these things for women. I’d like you to understand that men do indeed do these things for women, when they really want the woman and when she clearly expects to be treated well and with consideration. When women hold the bar high, because she herself is of high value and high caliber, through and through, quality men will meet the challenge and often far exceed her expectation.

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