At the Age of 48, I am Free

Never in my 48 years on earth have I felt this way. Free of anger. Free from carrying the weight of other people’s trauma as if they were my own (by association via ‘identity’ politics, ideologies and Intersectionality). Free from doing the dirty work and heavy lifting of other people’s agendas, and doing so of my own free will; such as hating men, hating whites, hating other women, and owning the woman’s supposed burden. These are all part and parcel of other ideologies that served their grand political schemes, not mine.

I, and women like me, are free from insisting that I don’t need help, insisting that good marriage is a lie, insisting that I am oppressed, insisting that I must be depressed and stressed, insisting that I must take that stress out on my children, insisting that family is more trouble than it is worth, insisting that the home must be a battlefield at all times because perhaps home made me unhappy as a child so I must make the home unhappy as an adult, insisting that all men cheat, insisting that wealth and wealthy people are evil, insisting that I align with a political party because I am Black and that is what Black people do, insisting that life must be difficult and that everyone is against me. Insisting that I must be controling for fear of losing my tenious grip on reality. Insisting that there is nothing to smile about and that even though I am faith based, I must never reach a heavenly state of mind, insisting that I must live on autopilot, insisting on do as I say, not as I do…
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Phew! Exhausting right? Wouldn’t you just want to let it all go and be free???!
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I took a detour from the programing and learned the true meaning of “freedom is a choice as is modern day slavery”

There was something beautiful about breaking the habit of being old myself…that self described above person who insisted on my own enslavement. There was something so beautifully refreshing about breaking free that I had to share it, bit by bit and word by word.

Leah

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